Lessons On Life and Death

So how do you approach the subject of death with your grandchild?

We received news that my husband's cousin passed away after battling cancer last Friday. We attended his funeral services today. Drew attended with us. While Drew did not know this cousin, it was his first experience at a funeral.

I think I need to go back to the very first time Drew had an experience with death. I do believe in life after death. We have quite a menagerie of animals on our little 3 acre farm. At one time, we had a rescue standard bred horse, a mini donkey, a mini mule, assorted chickens, fish, 3 small dogs, a cat and three goats. I bought a miniature goat a number of years ago to keep the rescue horse company. This little goat gave birth to 2 miniature male goats. Sadly, the mother goat died when Drew was 2 years old. We buried the goat and the next time Drew was visiting, I explained to him that she had died. I did my best to explain that her body just wore out and her body just stopped working. Then I tried my best to explain that this pet goat was in a happy place now...I got a blank look from Drew. So I continued with "I'll bet Mama goat is jumping and running around waaaay up there in heaven" while pointing to the clouds. Dead silence. More silence. I thought that this monologue had ended for now and I wasn't very sure about how successful I was at explaining the wonders of death and the continuance of life after death. A full 10 minutes of silence passed. Then, Drew leaned forward and in a very quiet voice said "I know what happened to the goat...the horse ate her." I learned that Drew will grasp at logic when he cannot understand such an abstract idea. In his view, the horse was the largest creature in the barn, so his logic would dictate that the horse ate the goat...voila! No more goat. I realize now that I should not have been so hasty at burying the goat in an effort to keep him from seeing it dead.

As time went by, we would see a dead baby bird on a walk around the farm or a deer that had been hit by a car on the side of the road. More time has gone by and we have lost one little dog to congestive heart failure, the horse and another little dog to old age. I had the little dog that died of heart failure buried before Drew could see the body. Again, I was worried that he would not be ready for this. Every so often, he would look at me and very calmly say "Mai, I think you should bring Chico home now". Big mistake. I didn't allow Drew to have some kind of closure.

After this, we explained how the horse's body was just worn out and the doctor would be coming to give him some medicine that would stop his heart. We gave him the choice to view the horse's body before burial. He declined to view the horse but bought some plastic flowers and wanted to put it on the "grave".

When we had to euthanize our little dog, Napoleon, he did express that he wanted to see his body. He petted the little dog's body for a few minutes and then placed the lid for the box that the body was in  back in place and walked back into the house.

I learned that he did not get traumatized for life when seeing death and it was easier for him to accept that this pet had died and would not be coming back if I allowed closure in his own terms.

When we went to the funeral today, he sat on his great grandfather's lap next to his great grandmother who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. When the pastor asked us to bow our heads in prayer, I saw Drew fold his hands and bow his head through the corner of my eye. "Good boy!" I thought to myself. Then he reached his hand out and put it on top of great grandma's hand. He held her hand through the prayer with head bowed and eyes closed. Great grandma had the most tranquil smile while they prayed.

I now understand that he also knows how to comfort others too.

Good Grief! It's Hot!

A Real Summer!!

We are really having a true summer this year in our area. We have had more days in the 90 degree range with a few in the 100 degree range this year than I can remember! I  prefer hot weather over cold weather but I must admit that it can get difficult to find things for Drew to do outside that will not contribute to a heatstroke or something.The corn in the fields in our area are curling up and stunted. The grass is brown and crunchy. Drew goes to swim class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and he really enjoys these classes. When he was in swim classes last year, he would finish his classes with blue lips since we had such a cool summer. What a difference a year can make!

My daughter had a day off for the first time in well over a week so Drew got to spend the day with his Mom while I took the opportunity to run some errands and pick up some groceries. Drew and his Mom took some books back to the local library and checked out a few more books to read. The library has a terrific summer reading program. We track the time that he reads on a reading log provided by the library. He can turn in his log at the table set up for this program in the library. He can "win" prizes and participate in crafts in air conditioned comfort...his Mom really appreciates this since she spends most of her time exposed to the heat when she is on the job.

They went to a local thrift store also where she bought him some tee shirts. Thrift stores are great places to buy play clothes for kids. I have learned that it is difficult to find jeans in Drew's size at the thrift store though. I have a theory on this shortage of jeans in his size. I think that boys in Drew's age group simply wear them out to the point that there is no life left in them. I think Drew is down to one pair of jeans that do not have holes in them. Now that I think about it though, my husband does not have a lot of jeans without holes in them either....maybe they never really grow up! They seem to wear these tattered jeans with pride though.  Jeans that are tattered and have holes are a statement that says they "work hard and play hard". 


I think this is going to be another sprinkler day...great way to cool off for Drew while getting a little water to the grass. Stay cool!

Reading, Reading and More Reading

My grandson, Drew, goes to a good school. He's worked very hard to catch up with his reading. He finished first grade reading at the level that is expected of him for entry into second grade. 
We read books for 15 minutes everyday and now that school is out I am trying my best to continue with our reading program.

That being said, I think Drew reads well for his age. However, he has not reached a point that he will pick up a book and read it for the pleasure of it. So, I try to encourage him to read every chance I get. 

I expose him to as many books as I can but I've also found that he is very receptive to reading signs, directions, notes that I leave for him and emails. He loves waking up in the morning to a note that I leave for him such as "Good Morning! I am out in the garden. There is a cup of chocolate milk in the refrigerator for you." We once did a scavenger hunt in the house with little notes everywhere and a dollar store prize at the end of the scavenger hunt. That was a lot of fun and I think I will do another one (or two) but have it outside this time. Maybe I can incorporate a little exercise with reading!

Of course, I still read to him and it's nice to find a book that he really enjoys. Sometimes the books are titles that have been around a long time (tried and true) and some of them are more "modern" such as Castle Under Attack (DK Lego Readers, Level 2) which is a Lego character book or Spider-Man: Spider-Man versus the Green Goblin (I Can Read Book 2) . Then there are the Poppleton series that he started reading during his reading class at school and really enjoys. Pictures are still really important to him and his interest in chapter books is still not where I would like it to be but we are working on it! I picked up a copy of The Ugly Truth (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 5) which he has been reading in bits. It has a lot of "boy humor" with some cartoon type stick figure illustrations in it that keeps him interested enough to read a few pages at a time. As I said though, he still does not pick up a book on his own so reading a chapter book is designated to "quiet reading time" (about 15 minutes in the evening or out on the deck in the afternoon). I just know that if I keep reading to him and keep insisting on reading times, he will come across a book that will get him hooked on reading. I got hooked on reading a loooong time ago when I found the Nancy Drew mystery series...wait, did I just date myself? 
Oh well, I would love a lot more "quiet reading" time. 

One of the best presents I ever I got was a Kindle Touch. I love this thing! I have borrowed books online from the library and read books that I can purchase online and download in seconds. I can have a library of books in one little device that I can carry with me wherever I go (this way I can take advantage of a few of those elusive moments of "quiet reading time" like waiting for Drew's swim class to finish or waiting at the doctor's office). It is no bigger than a paperback book and it even "bookmarks" my pages for me so when I touch the title I want to read, it "opens" to the page I left off. Some of the books also will allow you to turn on "text-to-speech"...very handy when I want to keep reading but I have dinner to prepare. 

 

There are a lot of children's books too and while the Kindle Touch is not in color, Drew never seems to mind when I read a book to him that I downloaded to the Kindle. There is the added bonus of being able to download some games to the Kindle also. I am hooked on "Thread Words" which is a free game if you have an activated Kindle account. I even downloaded BATTLESHIP for Drew and all of us have had a great time playing this game! 


Still, I have to say that I love opening a new book and paging through it. I believe I will always have shelves of books in my life. But technology can make life easier and sooo much fun at times. And since technology certainly appeals to kids today, it's a good thing when I find a device that gets him reading a little bit more! 

Lego Land!

My husband and I are very fortunate to have our grandson spend most of the summer with us and when school starts, I see him very often since I am his caregiver while his mother is working. While I get to have a lot of fun with him, I also need to make sure that homework is done, manners are in check, health and hygiene needs met and  proper nutrition presented. I also try my best to expose him to as many educational opportunities as possible. 


Of course, one of Drew's favorite store is Toys R Us which is the ultimate toy megastore for kids (and grownups!). He still needs to be steered towards age appropriate toys at times. His favorite toys at the moment are Legos. This is truly a time tested toy that meets some essential criteria when choosing toys for kids. This is a toy that teaches: 

• Design and construction
• Math and problem solving
• Reading
• Creativity
• Dexterity and coordination

And as an added bonus, Legos generally induces some "quiet time" for parents and grandparents!


Legos come in a multitude of themed collection sets such as Ninjago, Star Wars and Dino. They also have sets of just bricks that vary in the number of pieces it comes with. I would recommend a base plate or two since these would allow children to expand their creations and easily save them to continue with their creations later. 


I have to say that I was surprised at how well Drew could follow the instruction manuals that are included with the themed sets. It was interesting to note that there were diagrams that he had no problems following. I, on the other hand,  needed some help understanding some of the diagrams. My husband is a great schematic reader and he has no problems with the instructions and diagrams. 


Legos has a vast website that not only allows you to browse all their products, play games, share creations and techniques, and shop. There is also a link to Legos in education as well as a link for parents that has some very insightful information on child development. Drew is signed up for the Legos Club which is free and comes with a free magazine. Kids really love getting mail!

There was even a Legos Kid Fest that in our area last month. Luckily, Drew's Mom was off that day and she took him to this event. I believe this is going to be at the top of his list for "most fun things to do" for the summer if not for the year! Check to see if your area is on the list of stops for the Legos Kids Fest! I wasn't able to go this year but I will certainly be going next year!

  

Decorating Walls With Decals

Drew's room at the farm is a work in progress. We decided it is time to finish this project! So we ordered some wall stickers of various dinosaurs through Amazon and are we are eagerly waiting for them to arrive. We will recruit his talented grandfather to paint a volcano and an appropriate landscape of prehistoric trees and flora for the dinosaurs. 

If you've never tried wall stickers, they awesome! They work best on walls painted with an eggshell finish paint. They are applied with a little pressure and can be repositioned. They are easy to peel off too (when the time comes a new look). 

So far, we have had a Go Diego Go!theme, Disney Pixar Cars theme  and a SpongeBob Squarepants theme that was complete with crabby patties. Of course there are tons of themes (for little girls too!). These days, his tastes are leaning towards Dinosaurs (preferably carnivorous), and Safari animals. He's embarrassed to think that he liked Go Diego at one time. Cars and Spongebob are now so "last year". Ah well, they grow up so fast.  

We will post pictures soon!

Mosquito Trap Project

Drew is back for the week and no more visits from fox looking for an easy chicken dinner. The weather has been so dry here that we water, water and water our gardens. They still look dry. 

One of our summer projects has been to try to make a DIY mosquito trap. Drew and I believe it would be a successful trap  but there haven't been many mosquitoes due to the dry weather, We have, however, had success trapping a menagerie of other pesky bugs. We have seen a few fireflies but there are definitely fewer flying around at night this year. Drew is eager to catch some of them to use as a night light for one night. He releases them in the morning. While the fireflies still will show us their light in the "firefly habitat" that we made, they do not flash as much as they do before we catch the. I wonder what one can do to get them to flash more in their temporary captivity?